MANSFIELD, Ohio – For most of her adolescent life, Kimberly Williams lived with a man she described as “the biggest monster” she’d ever met in her life.
“Growing up with him was probably the scariest nightmare I’ve ever lived,” she said of her stepfather.
Williams shared her harrowing story of growing up in a home of domestic violence and child abuse with a standing-room only crowd at Kingwood Center Gardens on Friday. The Richland County Prosecutor’s Office hosted Friday’s ceremony honoring all victims of crime as part of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week.
The theme of this year’s Victims’ Rights Week, “Engaging Communities & Empowering Victims,” is about helping the healing process for victims, said Aubrie Carnie, Victim Advocate with the Richland County Victim Witness Assistance Program. It is a program within the Richland County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office that serves all victims of felony and juvenile crimes committed within the county.
“We do care about what’s happening to you, and we want to help you because you’re the ones who suffered this,” said Carnie. “They have their voice and they need someone to listen. We need to empower them and listen to them, and then they’re not victims anymore, they’re survivors.”
Williams found her voice on Friday as she shared stories of her stepfather’s physical, verbal, mental and sexual violence towards herself, her mother and her siblings. She barely remembers seeing her mother smile or laugh, but she vividly remembers her mother covered in bruises.
“He beat us with extension cords, hammers, anything he could pick up…and his bare hands,” said Williams. “One day during a beating I looked at him and I said, ‘Why me?’ And he looked at me and he said, ‘Because you’re not mine.’ And I knew he meant it, and I knew it was never going to stop.”
The violence at her stepfather’s hands did stop for Williams and her siblings on Oct. 30, 1981 – the day her stepfather murdered her mother and grandmother, and shot her uncle before attempting to take his own life.
Williams and her siblings spent the rest of their childhood living with family members. Her stepfather was convicted of murder in July of 1982 and was sentenced to 40 years to life in prison, where he remains to this day. He was up for parole in October 2013, but Williams fought to keep him behind bars; he will be eligible for parole again in 2021.
“It doesn’t mean I hate him; I feel bad for him,” said Williams. “It doesn’t mean I want to see anything bad happen to him, I don’t. But I don’t trust him to be out on the streets. I’m still afraid of him.
“I could tell you step by step everything that happened that day, because it doesn’t go away in your memory,” she said, her voice breaking. “I struggled all the time, I was angry and crying and scared all the time. But finally over the years, I was able to honestly forgive him, and it didn’t hurt as bad anymore.”
Forgiveness is not a place Derrell Hall has arrived at yet. Hall’s son was shot and killed on Dec. 26, 2011, and he shared on Friday that he was nowhere near the point of forgiveness.
“I didn’t choose to be a victim, I didn’t choose for this to happen,” said Hall. “I can honestly say I’m not the person I was before Dec. 26, 2011. There are times I hate like I’ve never hated before. How do you get rid of the hate when you had no choice in the matter that got you where you’re at? I have no answer.”
The man who shot Hall’s son will be up for parole when Hall is 76 years old – he cringed at the thought of his granddaughters having to fight to keep their father’s killer behind bars.
“How do you answer the questions they ask, like why did the man hate daddy? Why did he have to die? People need to know that for the victim it never ends,” said Hall.
“The trial has ended, the man has been sentenced, and in the eyes of everybody else they act like it’s time to forget,” he continued. “How do you forget 34 years of your son’s life that wasn’t supposed to end? How do you put that person out of your mind forever? You don’t. I raised my boy, and I had no intention of anything like this ever happening. It’s never going to be over for me.”
Richland County Prosecutor Bambi Couch Page highlighted a number of victim-focused services as well as the county’s domestic violence shelter that she said is the key to effective intervention and victim empowerment.
“In Richland County over the years we’ve made great strides in dealing with the issue of victimization,” said Couch Page. “When you consider the first victims’ legislation in Ohio was passed in July 1996, I think we’ve worked very hard in trying to conform to what the requirements are in that legislation, and doing outreach to individuals so we can assist them either through the criminal process or just through the victimization process itself.”
Couch Page also noted the community not only focuses on punishment to perpetrators of violent crimes but also treatment programs to heal on both sides.
“It isn’t always just about the victim because we also have to look to the needs of the individual who committed the crime and why they did it, and if we can assist them in some way that is also our goal,” she said.
The Prosecutor’s Office presented certificates of appreciation to Judge Brent Robinson and Detectives Matt Loughman and Dave Scheurer for their outstanding service on behalf of crime victims. Law Director John Spon touted the members of the county’s criminal justice system for their vigilance in strengthening and protecting society.
“Not one of us can guarantee whether or not we’ll be here tomorrow, but what we can promise to victims and to each other is that we will love each other and we will keep our eyes open,” said Spon. “We have a purpose in life that no matter what experiences we have, we can lean on the shoulders of our brothers and sisters whose love and comfort and faith will help hold us up so we can further our lives and fulfill the purpose that we ourselves were ordained for.
“Being involved in the criminal justice system, we see quite a bit, but we ourselves have never been the victims,” said Spon. “I think the most powerful truths about victimization come from the victims themselves. Because when they relate their experiences and we try to ponder what that would be like, none of us may have the answer.”
For Williams, her truth was to encourage both victims and witnesses of violent crimes to not look the other way, speak up and look for help before it’s too late. But most of all, her truth was that in order to heal her own heart she had to forgive.
“You don’t have to let your past steal your future,” said Williams. “Stand up, face it, forgive yourself first, forgive the others you might be angry with – I was angry with mom and grandma and aunts and uncles who didn’t stand up and do something. But I had to get past all of that and forgive.
“But most of all, I had to forgive him. He’s the one who did it. And I did that,” she said. “You have to forgive the person who harmed you, if you can, and become the person you were put on this earth to be.”
“You don’t have to let your past steal your future,” said Williams. “Stand up, face it, forgive yourself first, forgive the others you might be angry with,” said Kimberlyy Williams.
