MANSFIELD, Ohio – Becoming a father for the first time is all at once a wonderful, exciting, and completely terrifying experience.
Luckily, there are resources available locally to help dads-to-be learn the ropes of fatherhood from men who have successfully made the transition. OhioHealth Mansfield Hospital is partnering with Richland County DADS to host Daddy Boot Camps.
The concept is simple – expectant fathers glean valuable information on becoming a dad, forming a new family and caring for new moms from men who have experience in fatherhood. The camps also offer hands-on opportunities for prospective dads to learn burping, changing, swaddling and more.
Tim Harless, director of community outreach at Richland County Children Services and a Daddy Boot Camp instructor, said the area had not seen a program like the boot camps prior to its inception in 2015.
“It’s really … not to use an inappropriate term … infantile, here in Richland County,” Harless said with a laugh. “It’s getting dads involved in the lives of their children.”
Harless explained Daddy Boot Camps work against the perception that from birth to age 3, mom is in charge of raising the child.
“It’s about sharing opportunities with each other, dad being more interactive with the kid, and giving mom some relief,” he said. “The course talks about what to look for when the child is upset, how to hold a child, how to feed a child – all of those things dads don’t really get involved with, we’re encouraging the dads to do that.”
Class sizes for Daddy Boot Camps have ranged from two to 15 participants in the past. Harless noted the course does not work to its full potential without veteran dads who are available with their babies to provide hands-on experience.
“We hope they have a mess so they learn how to change diapers, how to feed and burp babies, what to look for when the child is unhappy,” Harless said. “Really the course doesn’t work well if we don’t have a baby.”
Enter Chris Starkey, a “veteran” dad to 10-month-old Harper Laine. Starkey first began volunteering at Daddy Boot Camps at the encouragement of his wife. He believes it’s very important for dads to be involved in the lives of their kids.
“My goal is to be the best possible parent, every single day,” Starkey said. “I don’t want anybody to outwork me when it comes to parenting, and I hope other people can share that enthusiasm for their kids. A lot of how we’re made up is how we were raised, and it’s important to do that.”
Starkey’s pride in sharing his energetic, giggling daughter with others is evident – he describes Harper as “so much fun.” His favorite story to share with new dads is the fact that nothing his daughter does disgusts him.
“Changing a diaper, boogers wiped on me, nothing at all is gross … until I was playing with her over my head and she puked in my mouth,” Starkey said with a laugh. “That was the line.”
One lesson both Harless and Starkey said they hoped to impart on new fathers is the importance of not shaking a baby. Starkey related that even with his happy baby, the thought creeped into his mind on a late night when she would not stop crying.
“I was ready for it, because I had been taught to look for that and taught that it happens, so I knew what to do and I was educated enough to do the right thing and not respond in a negative way,” Starkey said.
Harless stated during Daddy Boot Camps, he demonstrates the effects of a shaken baby with a piece of Tupperware about the size of a baby’s head, and an egg. Even the slightest shaking of the Tupperware is enough to crack the egg and leave permanent damage.
“Being in child welfare, I’ve seen just horrific things during just a moment of losing it,” Harless said. “I can recall where I thought I was going to have nervous breakdowns with my own kids. But one of the things we talk about is a child has never cried themselves to death.”
Daddy Boot Camps are held from 9 a.m. to noon at the OhioHealth Mansfield Hospital Patient Education Suite. The next classes will take place on March 19, June 18 and Sept. 17.
Harless said the biggest benefit of Daddy Boot Camps is the camaraderie formed among the men who attend.
“None of us are ever too old to learn something positive, especially if it’s going to benefit our most precious gift in our own kids,” Harless said. “And let’s face it: when you bring a kid into your home, everything changes. This gives dads the opportunity to talk about … and share experiences as first-time fathers.”
Starkey hopes that through leading by example those experiences will be positive ones.
“If I can show that I’m excited about being a dad and it’s genuine, then maybe it will rub off on people and we won’t have the negative things that happen,” Starkey said. “Even if we help one guy, that’s still one child that’s going to get the benefit from that.”
For more information or to register for an upcoming camp, call 419-774-5442 or email Teresa Alt at teresa.alt@jfs.ohio.gov.
