The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Musical by Mills Entertainment. You heard right. A gaggle of Santa’s Scout Elves are singing and dancing their way into your wallet.
Is the sizzling show a toe-tapping tale or a body-bouncing boogie? It may razzle and dazzle your kids, but from $30 to $80 a pop, is the fanatical fun worth it?
For a couple of hours, the children are magically transported to the North Pole, so parents kinda get a break – until someone has to go potty or the twins fight over your lap or the baby cries out in fear the whole time. Yikes!
And what do the red and white dressed creatures-come-to-life sing about? Here’s some lyrics I wrote:
“Eat your dinner. Don’t hit your sister. Don’t bite your brother. Stop yelling at your parents. No lying. No temper tantrums. Share your toys on playdates. No meltdowns over candy. Put your toys away. No saying nasty words in front of grandma.”
Now that might be worth the money if kids obey the twirling and swirling elves.
Another option is to send the kids to magical mania with grandparents or an auntie. The crooning elves won’t mind. They get paid regardless.
Parents can stay home and write their own lyrics:
“Elf on the Shelf, you make me lie to my kids. You are costly and time-consuming. You are a pain in my posterior. I want to throw you in the garbage, but I’m afraid that would stress my children out.”
Don’t confuse the Elf on Shelf Musical with Elf Buddy’s Musical – based on the beloved 2003 film. Of course, Will Ferrell is cast by another human.
Reviews tout this show as kid friendly. Pretend Buddy is the Elf on the Shelf. Younger kids won’t know the difference, but your sassy second- grader may spill the beans.
Not wanting to be labeled as the grinch that ridiculed the elf extravaganza, here’s another idea. Ask friends and neighbors to dress up like elves and sing outside your door.
Tell kids it’s a special gift from Santa Claus. You’ll save money and prevent traveling mayhem. Fa, la, la, la, la.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an opinion-editorial columnist, humor columnist, and author. She lives in Ohio.
