SHILOH, Ohio – For one Shiloh couple, adoption is about more than a nationally-recognized month – it’s about giving a child a chance to feel love and stability – even if that child is older.
That’s precisely what Brandi and Chad Martin did when they adopted their first child, 10-year-old Amber, in September, a decision the couple said they have not once regretted.
“It’s like she’s always been with us,” Brandi said.
Before being adopted by the Martins, Amber was with multiple foster families since she was 4 or 5 years old, according to the couple, whose journey to adoption began shortly after getting their foster care license.
It started when Brandi and Chad received a call to have the 10-year-old girl placed in respite care with them for a weekend, Brandi said. Respite care provides parents and caregivers with short-term child care services.
And after just a few short days, Brandi said she and her husband didn’t want Amber to leave, and neither did Amber.
“One of my biggest things is that I’d like awareness for older children,” Brandi said. “There are so many older children who are looking for families, and, unfortunately, other people seem to want to go after smaller children.”
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Its theme for 2015 focuses on the adoption of older children in foster care.
The couple went through Richland County Children Services to get their foster care license and to adopt.
Another opportunity already has arose for the Martins, as they also are in the process of adopting Amber’s biological baby brother, Cody, who turns a year old next month, Brandi said.
“It was definitely a surprise, but we wouldn’t trade it for the world,” she added.
THE DECISION: Brandi said she comes from a big family, and “it didn’t matter biological or not – anybody could be family.”
She and Chad have been together for six years. Brandi works at Allstate in Shelby, while Chad, who said he can no longer have children, works at Longview Steel in Mansfield.
“It wasn’t fair to my wife to not be able to have kids, so we both agreed to build a foster family and one day hope to adopt so we could have our own family,” Chad said.
Both Brandi and Chad agreed there is a lot of fear when planning to take on foster care or adoption – from the children no wanting to receive care from someone who isn’t his or her parents to dealing with parents themselves.
“A lot of times they view you as wanting to take their child from them,” Brandi said.
However, in the Martins’ situation, that proved to be untrue.
“The moral of it is that these children, all they’re looking for is love,” Chad said. “They’re looking for stability; they’re looking for a family.
“And a lot of these children haven’t seen that.”
Amber loves to play with dogs and other animals and does well in school, the couple said. She also likes to play outdoors and ride four-wheelers and is “very artistic.”
“We took her fishing probably for the first time,” Brandi said.
She and her husband are signing paperwork to adopt Cody this week and hope to have officially adopted him within a few months.
“This whole process was very fast for us from the beginning, and I feel like we’re sort of out of the norm compared to other foster parents who are looking to adopt,” said Brandi, adding that it has been “a blessing.”
ADVICE FOR OTHERS: When the Martins decided to work toward adoption, the first step was to decide what path they wanted to take.
“Some people only do foster care, some people are only looking to adopt, and some people are looking to foster to adopt,” Brandi said. “And in our situation, we were more than OK if that meant to have the child for just a few days or a few weeks.
“If that meant we could help them, we were fine with being a foster parent even if we didn’t have a chance to adopt them.”
In order to answer a lot of questions about foster care and adoption, Brandi said the classes she and Chad had to take to become foster parents were “eye-opening.”
“I said it time and time again to all my friends who were very unaware of how foster parenting works, I would recommend those parenting classes to anybody who is a parent – whether they’re biological or adopted children – those classes were very informative and full of things you don’t really think about until you’re in those situations.”
Brandi and Chad took their classes at Richland County Children Services but said classes can be taken in surrounding counties.
“If the times don’t work for you, you can pick them up at different places,” she said, adding that she couldn’t say anything bad about Richland County Children Services.
“They were all willing to do anything they could to help us – and still are,” she said.
In addition, there are a lot of children who have medical issues waiting to be adopted, according to Chad.
“But still it doesn’t mean they don’t want love,” Chad said. “I know several children who have medical issues, and they’re the sweetest kids you’ll ever meet.
“They just want stability and love.”
Likewise, Brandi said people who are considering adoption also should have some form of support.
“If people do end up adopting, it’s nice for them to have other people to talk to about your situation – someone who can relate,” she said. “Just having someone on the other line can be a huge help – someone who knows what you’re going through.”
For information about foster care, adoption, or upcoming classes, visit richlandcountychildrenservices.org. Information about National Adoption Awareness Month can be found at childwelfare.gov.
RICHLAND COUNTY CHILDREN SERVICES AND NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH
Richland County Children Services is located at 731 Scholl Road in Mansfield and offer many services to protect children and aid families.
According to its website, Richland County Children Services is governed by a board of local residents and has a full-time staff of more than 100 employees whose primary mission is to assist children and families in need.
“Our main priority is keeping kids safe,” Richland County Children Services Program Manager Nicole Foulks said. “And we try to do that with helping the family unity as is when we come in contact with the family. If that’s not safe or appropriate for a child, we always try to go to kinship or family contacts or friends.”
Foster care and adoption come as a last resort to keep children safe, she added.
National Adoption Awareness Month is an initiative held every November and run by the Children’s Bureau, which falls under the direction of the Unites States Department of Health and Human Services.
This year’s theme focuses on the adoption of older youth currently in foster care.
“Our vision is with it that every child is adoptable and deserves a permanent family,” Foulks said of the month. “And if they can’t reside with their own (family) or a relative, it is our No. 1 priority to give that child permanency in its life through adoption means.”
