MANSFIELD, Ohio – For seven years of his life, Jason Conley spent most of his time in a basement getting high.
Trapped in an abusive relationship where he was treated as the scapegoat for all unpleasant things, Conley used it as a way to escape.
“It got really bad where I wouldn’t even want to come up out of the basement. I would isolate myself and stay down there to get high, and not worry about anything,” said Conley. “Have you ever felt like you’re living the same day over and over?”
But eventually Conley broke the cycle of drug use and unhappiness, and with the help of the Mansfield Urban Minority Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Outreach Program (UMADAOP) was able to find his way back to the light.
“I had to get out of that basement, I was killing myself,” he said. “It had to stop.”
The beginning
Coming from an alcoholic family, Conley rarely remembers a time when his father was without a beer in his hand.
“We thought it was normal to go to Kentucky and bring back a bunch of moonshine, that’s just the way it was,” said Conley, now 34. “I can’t remember my dad ever going into a grocery store or convenience store and buying a pop. It was always beer or at a bar. It never ended.”
Born in Mansfield, Conley’s father moved the family to the Dayton area at a very young age, where he lived until the age of 13. It was then Conley and his brother moved back to Mansfield to escape a stepmother who didn’t want them around. However, new problems arose with the presence of stepfathers.
“It didn’t get any better,” said Conley. “I relied on drinking and using to cover it all up, so I wouldn’t have to deal with those problems anymore. It kept them at bay, but they never left.”
Conley’s first experience with substance abuse came from alcohol and marijuana use. He said he first used to fit in with the crowd he and his brother ran with during those days.
“Coming from an alcoholic family, I fit right in,” said Conley. “We would just party, the drinking and using marijuana never stopped. I was young and just wanted to fit it, and it didn’t get any better.”
Around the age of 18, Conley realized he could no longer get high from just using marijuana. He was then introduced to heroin.
“The alcohol and marijuana wasn’t enough, so I moved on to harder drugs and I found my place. People would accept me,” he said. “But it was for all the wrong reasons.
“The first time heroin was given to me, I snorted it at first and it gets you high but it wasn’t enough,” Conley remembered. “And I had to impress everybody at a party. That’s what I always thought I had to do, one-up everybody. I started shooting up after that, then it was shoot everything up, anything I can get my hands on. I’ve got the scars to prove it.”
For years, Conley sustained his drug habits by working for a roofing company and traveling around the county. In his mind, holding a steady job justified his drug habit.
“I never stole anything or robbed anybody. I always tried to work and be honest about it because that wouldn’t make me a crack head or a junkie if I went to work every day,” said Conley. “That was how I justified it, but it still wasn’t right.”
Then at the age of 27, Conley entered into a relationship.
Toxic love
For seven years, Conley was in a relationship with a woman who had four kids from a previous relationship. In the beginning, he tried to hide his drug habit from her.
“I was trying to smoke crack in the bathroom and she smelled it,” said Conley. “Then she wanted to try it with me and three years later we were smoking crack every day. She always put it all on me, I was the bad person for getting it and bringing it to her. She had all her kids against me, it was troubling times.”
Being the constant target of guilt and blame drove Conley to become a recluse in the basement, where he could get high without any judgment.
“They all blamed me for everything that went on in the house,” said Conley. “But we would take her kids’ Ritalin and shoot them up.”
Conley was controlled outside his home as well. He remembers his girlfriend finding him at bars, where he went to escape, and punching him in the head while dragging him out of the bar and calling him a crack head. He stopped drinking after that.
“She would not let me do it, it was her way or the highway. And it was usually her way,” said Conley.
After seven years of hiding in the basement, Conley had enough.
I tried to help them kids out but me using wasn’t helping them, I needed to get away from there,” said Conley. “I knew there was something better out there, I just knew it. And I found this place.”
UMADAOP
Conley admits that at first, he wasn’t fully committed to recovery. He found himself back in the basement after only a couple months at UMADAOP.
“I messed up for about four months, just kept dropping dirty,” he said. “Living in a basement where you didn’t want to be at, and nobody wanted you around, that had to be my bottom.”
But an encouraging call from a counselor and a hard look at reality helped Conley move forward.
“I started thinking about life and what life had to offer, and I saw this place was about their business,” he said. “I knew it was a structured living place and there would be rules I had to adhere by, but I tried to listen and tried to turn my life around.”
At first Conley’s girlfriend visited him at the UMADAOP sober living house, but Conley quickly realized it was time to cut all ties.
“She didn’t want to stop, she was abusing her meds and everything, and I didn’t want it anymore,” he said. “I was done, and she wanted to keep on hustling and getting high, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t sit around and watch her destroy her life. We’d done destroyed our lives for seven years.”
Little by little, Conley began taking constructive steps in his life, first taking care of his outstanding warrants then obtaining his license again, and his independence. After 20 years of substance abuse, Conley has been sober for almost one year now, and has even found employment at the same place he turned to for help – doing maintenance work for UMADAOP.
“If it wasn’t for UMADAOP I wouldn’t be here, I think I’d be in a gutter somewhere,” said Conley. “It’s nice to have a job and have money saved up and not have to worry about what I’m going to eat today.”
The future
These days, Conley doesn’t even like going to the basement to do laundry. He works hard at staying busy and staying sober, even serving as the chairman of a recovery coach program at UMADAOP.
“It helps other people who are struggling in counseling here to tell them your story a little bit and try to help them out and inspire them to stay clean,” said Conley. “But I’m a really nervous person and sometimes words don’t come out right,” he added with a laugh.
Still, Conley knows the importance of telling his story in order to help others. He remembers feeling on top of the world as a 13-year-old using alcohol and marijuana – now he mostly feels regret.
“Thinking back it’s like wow, I wasted all those years and I can’t get them back,” said Conley. “That’s what I’m trying to do now, get my life back in order and be happy and not have to worry about the daily struggle of trying to get high.”
“It helps other people who are struggling in counseling here to tell them your story a little bit and try to help them out and inspire them to stay clean,” said Jason Conley.
Mental health and substance abuse treatment combined with healthcare reform is helping some local residents along the Road to Recovery from addiction. In the series, Road to Recovery, Richland Source shares their stories in cooperation with the Richland County Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Mental Health Board.
