In 2008, David Marcelonis graduated from high school. He wanted to find a way to make a difference in the world. He thought mentoring a kid might be a good way to have an impact on an individual level and he did some research. After talking to a coworker who had been a mentor, or “Big,” as they are called, in Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS), he decided to volunteer.
That same year *Johnny experienced a tragedy. One day, he and his sister were the first to return home after school and found their father dead of a drug overdose. Johnny’s mother had multiple health problems of her own and was struggling as a recovering heroin addict herself. Not surprisingly, Johnny was struggling in life and in school.
Marcelonis and Johnny were paired up through BBBS. When they first met, Johnny was failing in school and it seemed as though most people had written him off as a “screw up.”
Marcelonis, however, was relentless in helping him to succeed. At first they would just have fun together, going fishing, learning to golf, but in time Marcelonis realized that Johnny’s struggles at school largely were the result of no one monitoring his progress. With his mother’s permission, Marcelonis contacted the school and from then on they did homework together.
The transformation was remarkable. Johnny eventually was on the honor roll, he became more outgoing and socially comfortable, he even found a girlfriend.
One might wonder what makes Marcelonis such a miracle worker, but he argues that being a “Big” is easier than you think. He fits mentoring in around his otherwise daunting schedule. In fact, between his full time job as a manager at Taco Bell and his class schedule at North Central State College, he only has one day off per week.
According to Jim Nicholson, Executive Director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Central Ohio, being a “Big” is something that anyone can fit into their existing schedule, the expected time commitment is just four hours a month.
“We really need to emphasize that it’s not as much of a commitment as people think. It’s things you’re going to do anyway whether it’s going to the movies, go for a bike ride, having a family cookout,“ said Nicholson.
Fitting mentoring into a busy life is not without it’s challenges, but Marecolnis is also quick to point out that he learns from his “Littles” as much as they learn from him. He was really struggling with work life balance and Johnny helped him learn some valuable life skills.
“I would get overwhelmed sometimes and he would say, ‘David, just take a deep breath, you can do this, this day, you can do this, this day,’ I have a planner now and he helped me with that.”
Another lesson he learned from Johnny involved managing his money. “He’s really good with money. We’d have a budget when we go out and if we go over the budget he would let me know about it.”
And sometimes they learned from each other. “When I was in high school, I would have trouble talking to girls and he had the same problem, so we kind of collaborated and now we’re good.”
Marcelonis hopes that more people will take the time to mentor, he especially believes more students like him should get involved. “Students have the best opportunity as a ‘Big’ because they can relate to the kids better. They remember what kids like, some even have the same interests like movies and video games.”
Nicholson points out that mentoring can fit into anyone’s schedule. He gives the example of Jim, a man with a family of his own to support and care for, even so he decided to mentor and *Matthew entered his life. This child was getting into fights, struggling in school both academically and socially, and his environment was a contributing factor. Jim helped Matthew get into a private school, and he also included him as if he were a member of his own family. Matthew spent time with Jim’s family, even joining them on vacations. Now 18 years old, Matthew has entered the Air Force as an aviation engineer.
“As a young boy, Matthew had little hope of amounting to the man he has become without his Big Brother’s help. Matthew’s father was in prison when he was first matched to Jim, and his mom was (and still is) a drug abuser. As of today, even his younger sister is also now in prison. This is the sad reality of this and many other families. But, because of a little help and support from Big Brother Jim, Matthew was able to break the cycle and reach his potential, “ said Nicholson.
Marcelonis has this advice to future “Bigs” who may be considering mentoring, “Just go in with an open heart. Get to know them first before you start judging them, my ‘Littles’ have taught me so much.”
Mentoring has opened up the community to Macelonis in ways that have surprised him. As a result of knowing Johnny he now volunteers with Johnny’s church youth group. “You meet so many people by just knowing one, you just don’t know how much of an impact one person can do,” he said.
Johnny is now too old for the program so Marcelonis is now working with his second “Little.”
“*Devon is eleven with a dysfunctional home life, failing grades and lots of time spent in Juvenile Court. The trajectory looks like he will find a room for himself in a Juvenile Detention home if his choices do not improve. But, Marcelonis is now matched to *Devon and I am hoping he can work some of his magic again,” said Nicholson.
BBBS currently has 65 children on the waiting list in need of a mentor, if you would like more information or would like to volunteer click here.
Names of youths denoted by an asterisk have been changed to protect their identity
