“Transformers: Age of Extinction” will likely be this summer’s biggest blockbuster in terms of ticket sales. It hauled in $41.7 million at the box office last Friday and was on track to earn $104 million for the opening weekend.
It will also likely be the absolute worst movie anyone will see this summer in terms of mind-numbing, sleep-inducing, sheer waste-of-time stupidity.
Honestly, I can think of a myriad of better ways to waste 165 minutes of my life than watch this movie. I could sit out back of my house and watch grass grow. I could hand-wash all my socks and then rearrange my sock drawer. I could watch five and a half episodes of “Golden Girls” re-runs. All of these have greater intrinsic value than sitting in a crowded theater to see the latest Transformers movie.
The fact almost all critics are throwing tomatoes at his new “film” doesn’t bother director Michael Bay one iota. In fact, if you believe the famed producer/director, Bay lives for such criticism, perhaps because the Hollywood veteran knows his new movie is review-proof.
Bay told an MTV interviewer, “They love to hate and I don’t care; let them hate it. They’re still going to see the movie! I think it’s good to get a little tension. Very good.”
Congratulations, Michael Bay, you got your wish. I did hate it.
By the way, Mr. Bay, the ONLY reason I went to see the fourth (and please God, make it the final) Transformers movie you have created was to write this review. My hope is a reader of the Richland Source will see this in time to stop themselves from wasting money on this movie.
You call these Transformer movies “epics.” I call this one in particular an epic disaster.
If you have seen any of the first three Transformer movies, you know the plotline well. Only the names of the actors have been changed to protect the innocent. Here it is in simplest form: “A mechanic and his family join the Autobots as they are targeted by a bounty hunter from another world.”
That’s it. That’s all you need to know. You get that in the first 10 minutes of the movie. After that, just just sit back in your seat for the next 155 minutes of CGI mania as our humans join forces with our hero Autobots to beat back the aliens and evil leaders from Washington, D.C.
There is no tension. There is no drama. Not once did I come close to the edge of my seat, save for the moment or two I thought about getting up and walking out. It’s just one narrow CGI escape after another for our human heroes as they battle to save the world … or least their little portion of it.
I know actors have to work in order to eat. I hold no ill will toward anyone in this cast. They were presumably paid well to play second, third and even fourth fiddle to Bay’s band of merry computer-generated graphics guys.
I am disappointed, somewhat, in Mark Wahlberg, a credible actor whose work I enjoyed greatly several months ago in “The Lone Survivor.” This is a serious actor with a solid resume that includes a Best Supporting Actor nomination for The Departed back in 2006. He did great work in The Fighter in 2010 and proved he could do comedy when he starred in Ted in 2012.
My only thought is Wahlberg had not yet performed in a real tragedy. Well, he can cross that off his bucket list now.
Save your money for another movie. Don’t waste it here.
Movie: Transformers: Age of Extinction
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Kelsey Grammer
Run time: 165 minutes
Rated: PG-13
Next week: America
Next week: America
