“Ice, I’m trapped under ice.” — Metallica, “Trapped Under Ice”
NORTH CENTRAL OHIO — Ned Stark was the first to say it in the TV version of “The Game of Thrones,” written by George R.R. Martin.
“Winter is coming.”
And just when residents were beginning to believe winter had finally wandered off to bother someone else, it has returned with a clipboard, a whistle and a list of demands.
Weekend weather center
- Source Media has your weekend weather covered. In addition to weather stories, we will be publishing a ton of winter weather related content. Look for stories on:
- What are snow emergency levels on local roads?
- How are ODOT and counties preparing to plow away the snow?
- Frozen pipes can mean costly repairs: here’s how to prevent them.
- What warming centers in Richland, Ashland and Knox counties are set up for the weekend?
- Where are the best places to enjoy snow in the outdoors
- How tough is all of this winter on area farm producers?
- How deer, birds, and other wildlife adapt during harsh winters? How can we help?
The National Weather Service office in Cleveland has issued a Winter Storm Warning from Saturday at 7 p.m. through Monday at 10 a.m. The folks who get paid to forecast for a living now say 6 to 9 inches of snow are expected across portions of north central and northwest Ohio.
The warning area includes Richland, Ashland and Knox counties. In fact, nearly every segment of the Buckeye State should plan to hunker down this weekend.
Forecasters said snow will arrive Saturday night, peak Sunday, and “gradually taper off” late Sunday night — which is meteorologist code for “this will feel endless, but technically it does stop eventually.”
As a physician once told me during an interview for a story about death, “Carl, all bleeding does stop.”
Adding to winter’s charm, sub-zero wind chills are expected Saturday night, Sunday morning, Sunday night and Monday morning. In other words, any exposed skin will immediately reconsider its life choices — and also question your sanity.
Before the snow even arrives, residents are already enduring a Cold Weather Advisory, with wind chills dipping as low as -15.
Officials warn this could result in frostbite or hypothermia if precautions are not taken — or if you attempt to scrape ice off your windshield without gloves because you’re “just going out for a second.”
County EMAs spent Thursday doing what they do best: aggressively caring about everyone’s safety in 280-character bursts. By mid-afternoon, phones across the county were vibrating so often people began checking their pockets for trapped hummingbirds.
Thank you, EMA — we get it. The roads will be bad, the wind will hurt, and yes, we will wear a hat. If one more notification arrives, however, half the county may end up in the ditch not from the snow, but from trying to silence their phone while driving.
The Ohio Department of Transportation strongly encourages motorists to delay unnecessary travel. That is helpful advice for anyone who still thinks, “I’ll be fine, it’s just a little snow,” moments before ending up sideways in a ditch.
Local tow truck drivers don’t see “6 to 9 inches of snow.” They see a fully booked schedule, cold coffee, and a night of answering the same phone call over and over: “Yeah, I’m stuck. I don’t know how. I was only going 45.”
As the storm creeps closer, their biggest fear isn’t the snow — it’s the creativity of dumb drivers. Would it be the sedan that tries to climb a plow pile? The pickup that insists four-wheel drive is a personality trait? Or the minivan that believes bald tires are “basically fine?”
Somewhere out there, mistakes were being planned in advance, and two truck operators were bracing themselves to spend the night turning poor decisions back into traffic.
If you must travel, officials recommend carrying extra food, water and a flashlight in your vehicle. This is less for safety and more so you can survive the long wait behind the pickup truck going 15 mph in the left lane.
Local grocery stores are already reporting the traditional pre-storm surge on bread, milk and eggs — apparently the three essential ingredients for riding out a blizzard in Ohio.
Meanwhile, winter shows no signs of apologizing.
It has your weekend, your Monday commute and, possibly, your patience.
Come to think of it, winter in Ohio has never once apologized for showing up in January, and it’s certainly not starting now. There’s no note on the door, no polite explanation — just snow, wind and the quiet confidence of a season that knows this is its month and you’re the one who’s confused.
You can complain, you can check the calendar, you can swear it “wasn’t like this last year,” but winter will keep dumping snow like it’s fulfilling a contractual obligation, utterly unapologetic and mildly offended that you expected anything different.
Ohio’s latest winter storm has chosen its timing with the subtlety of a history professor and the spite of a sequel nobody asked for.
Arriving nearly on the 48th anniversary of the Blizzard of 1978 (Jan. 27), this storm clearly studied the original, circled the date on the calendar and said, “Let’s make this symbolic.”
For longtime residents, it’s less a weather event and more a pop quiz: How much bread did you buy? Where did you put the shovel? And do you still have unresolved trauma involving snowdrifts taller than your car?
While this storm may not be burying houses or stranding entire counties, it’s enjoying the attention that comes with the anniversary.
Somewhere, the Blizzard of ’78 is watching proudly as a younger storm tries on its oversized snow boots.
The rest of Ohio is left nodding solemnly and saying, “Ah yes, of course this is happening today,” because nothing says winter tradition like reliving your parents’ worst weather stories in real time.
related reading
6 inches of snow expected — plus bonus low wind chill for emotional damage
The National Weather Service office in Cleveland has issued a Winter Storm Watch from Saturday evening through Monday morning for portions of north central and northwest Ohio.
