“Hot town, summer in the city / Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty / Been down, isn’t it a pity / Doesn’t seem to be a shadow in the city.” — The Lovin’ Spoonful, 1966
Folks around north central Ohio are learning this week why the devil doesn’t vacation in these parts.
He’d likely melt.
Today, the sun is expected to turn up the broiler to a high near 93 degrees with a heat index flirting with 101, according to the National Weather Service office in Cleveland.
In fact, the government weather forecasters have issued an extreme heat warning for the entire region.
Southwest winds of 7 to 13 miles per hour today will feel less like a breeze and more like a hair dryer set on low. Tonight offers only token relief, with mostly clear skies and a low around 74.
Wednesday looks even meaner: sunny with a high near 96 and heat index values up to 103. By Thursday, another sunny scorcher near 95 before the heat advisory finally expires at 8 p.m.
Overnight lows will hover stubbornly around 74, giving air-conditioning units zero breaks.
“It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity,” said no one with any sense, as locals begin spontaneous conversations with their refrigerators.
The heat warning includes Richland, Ashland and Knox counties, raising red flags about dangerously hot conditions with heat index values possibly reaching 107.
What is a “heat index value” the weather people toss around so much during these moments?
A heat index value (often called the “feels-like” temperature) is a number that represents how hot the air actually feels to the human body. It combines the actual air temperature with relative humidity to calculate the body’s increased inability to cool itself through sweating.
From Tuesday at noon through 8 p.m. Thursday, the prolonged bake with minimal overnight relief is raising serious concerns for heat-related illnesses, especially among vulnerable populations.
You know, the people who probably just want to sit on the porch with a lemonade like nature intended.
By Friday, the atmosphere finally shows mercy — sort of.
Showers are likely with a possible thunderstorm, keeping the high near 95 and giving a 60 percent chance of actual weather drama. Friday night brings a 30 percent chance of lingering showers and thunderstorms before 2 a.m., with lows dropping to around 71.
The 4th of July holiday on Saturday will be anything but independent from humidity.
Showers are likely, possibly with a thunderstorm, mainly after 2 p.m., for a high near 91 and another 60 percent chance of rain. Saturday night stays active with showers and thunderstorms likely early, then tapering off, bottoming out around 69.
Sunday should feel almost civilized with a high near 88 and only a 40 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms. Sunday night remains mostly cloudy with a low around 67 and a 30 percent chance of precip.
Translation for locals: Drink water like it’s your job, check on grandma. Don’t leave children or the dog in the car — even with the windows cracked.
In the meantime, Richland, Knox and Ashland county residents will continue their traditional midsummer ritual: complaining about the heat, then complaining when it rains, then complaining it’s too cloudy.
Some traditions never die — they just get sweatier.
