MANSFIELD — Patricia Westlake thought she was done having kids.
She was 38, her partner was 43. Her youngest child was 10 years old. After 25 years of drug use, she was in recovery and learning to live a normal life.
"We were kind of shocked when we found out we were pregnant. It caught us off guard," Westlake said. “I wasn't prepared at all."
Multiple friends told Westlake to try out Embrace Grace, a church-based support group for unmarried women with unplanned pregnancies.
Westlake said the group gave her a sense of community, strengthened her relationship with God and helped provide material items for the needs of her new baby.
"To be able to have all these women on my side and there for me made a such a huge difference," she said. "I was so scared of failure or not being good enough or worthy enough. They built me up.”
Westlake gave birth in the summer of 2021. She named her daughter Nadia, which means hope, and gave her the middle name Reign.
"Now I can’t imagine my life without her," she said.
Embrace Grace is a faith-based non-profit organization based in Texas. The organization provides materials and guidance to churches that start their own support groups. In 2021, Embrace Grace had 663 groups in 48 states and seven countries.
At the time of publication, local churches with Embrace Grace programs include Mosaic Church on Park Avenue in Mansfield, Calvary Chapel Mansfield, New Life Community Church in Ashland and Trinity Worship Center in Mount Vernon.
Kate Mould, who co-founded an Embrace Grace group at Mosaic, said the goal is to share God's love and provide a safe, non-judgmental community.
“We want to provide a place for them to come where they don't have to feel shame or guilt and they can come to be supported emotionally and spiritually by other women and other moms,” she said.
Janice Schatzinger helped found the Embrace Grace program at Calvary Chapel Mansfield last year. She said part of Embrace Grace’s mission is to make church a welcoming place for single, pregnant women.
It’s a mission that’s personal for Schatzinger. The pastor's wife and grandmother of six was just 17 when she got pregnant for the first time.
"I was raised in the church, I was a regular attender and I never would have thought of going to someone in my church for help," she said. "That’s what I want to change. We want the church to be the place people run to when they have problems and issues.
"I think the church has gotten a reputation, and some of it has been warranted, for being judgmental.”
While designed for single mothers, Embrace Grace functions more like a Bible study than a parenting class.
Westlake was already a Christian when she joined Embrace Grace — she credits faith-based residential program Adult & Teen Challenge with her recovery. But she still struggled to feel worthy of God's love.
She said the Embrace Grace program helped her realize she was worthy and that God loved her regardless of any mistakes she'd made.
"When I found out that it incorporated a Bible study, I was really interested," she said. "I didn’t miss a class.”
The 14-week program includes eleven lessons, a Princess Day and a joint baby shower thrown by the host church.
Local leaders said the biggest factor in making Embrace Grace work is having a local church supporting each group. Churches can provide volunteers to run the program, cook meals and provide baby shower gifts and financial support.
“We want them to have pretty much every single thing they'll need for that child by the time the semester is over,” Mould said.
While the baby shower is designed to provide everything women need to care for their baby, Princess Day is about celebrating and pampering mothers.
A Princess Day might involve a special meal, getting their hair, makeup and nails done or even a maternity photo shoot.
“It’s just encouraging them in their identity in Christ, that they are worthy of love,” Mould said. “We just want to make them feel special. They're doing a really important work, choosing life for their baby and sacrificing for their child is no small act.”
Leaders say Embrace Grace is about more than just material support. It’s about creating a sense of community and relationships that last beyond the program.
Schatzinger said she didn't know any of her Embrace Grace alumna before they joined the group, but she's still in contact with most of them. Some now go to her church.
“I think sometimes that’s all they need to hear is ‘You can do this and we’re going to be here for you,’ ” she said. “A lot of it is just finding a community of people that will support them, not only through this unexpected pregnancy but for a lifetime.”
Shelly McNeely leads an Embrace Grace program at New Life Community Church in Ashland. She has seen eight women complete the program over the course of four semesters. All of them carried their babies to term and are raising them.
McNeely does her best to stay connected, hosting reunion dinners and inviting the girls to church even after they complete the program.
“We’ve stayed in all of their lives," McNeely said. "We have a group text for all the girls that have been involved.”
McNeely said a challenging thing about hosting an Embrace Grace group is the preparation. Until sessions begin, there's no way to know who will show up or what challenges they are facing. Many participants have baggage, whether it be emotional, relational or spiritual. Building trust and friendship takes time.
“Probably the biggest challenge is getting the walls broken down emotionally," McNeely said.
For Jessica Adkins, getting pregnant for a third time brought up feelings of fear and heartbreak. Adkins lost her oldest child at birth due to a rare condition and her second to SIDS when he was just 18 months old.
“After my (second child) Bo died, I found out I was pregnant with my son Luke," she said. "I didn’t want to be pregnant. It was a very hard time for me.”
Adkins found out about the Embrace Grace group at New Life Community Church through the Ashland Pregnancy Center.
“Something just told me I should try it out," she said.
Today, Luke is a healthy 3-year-old with a 15-month-old baby brother. Adkins said Embrace Grace helped her work through her grief.
“The ladies that put it on are absolutely amazing," Adkins said. "They’ve taken my whole family in. They’ve really helped us and shown us a lot of love.”
Veda Morris, one of the program leaders at Mosaic, said she’s seen women grow in confidence as a result of Embrace Grace.
“When they start, they're usually afraid. They’re intimidated about what's ahead of them. They're overwhelmed and they're alone,” she said. “By the end of the semester, they're going, 'I can do this.' "